Monday, December 05, 2005

Stinky the Monkey

We welcomed Stinky the Monkey to our home yesterday. Shelly has apparently been sending a photo of Stinky around to her family, so I may as well include it here, along with the story, convoluted though it may be.


I have always wanted a pet monkey. What boy hasn't, really? They're fun to watch, and intelligent, too. Now, obviously I wouldn't actually want a monkey -- a monkey would be a handful around the house, to be sure -- but monkeys have always been fun pet to fantasize about.

After adopting Mister Tanaka, I decided that, to match my personality, I would consider him to be a sarcastic cat, much like Bucky in Get Fuzzy. For all of his blustering, aggressive outside, Bucky also has a soft spot in his heart for his plastic bear, Smacky.

It's really because of Bucky that I started to think, sometime that last year, that maybe Mister Tanaka would like a pet, too. And what better pet for a cat than a monkey?

"Mister Tanaka could train him, and groom him, and the monkey could get snacks for Mister Tanaka out of the cupboard," I said to Shelly sounding, no doubt, like an eight-year-old after an afternoon of Pepsi and cotton candy.

"I would guess," said The Voice of Reason, "that the monkey would end up training Mister Tanaka. I think Mister Tanaka would probably rather have a pet goldfish."

I couldn't argue with Shelly's logic, but since I didn't actually want a monkey for Mister Tanaka, I didn't have to argue with her.

After seeing all those macaques last week, my trip to Subic last week re-ignited my burning passion for a pet monkey.

"I showed Mister Tanaka my monkey photos," I told Shelly. "He reminded me that he wants a pet monkey. He's going to name him Stinky."

"Neither of you are getting a monkey," The Voice of Reason said.

"But Ross had a monkey on Friends," I whined.

"Friends was a TV show," she said. "And Ross was a dork. Do you want to be a dork?"

And that was the end of that -- who wants to be dork, after all? -- until Sunday, when we were shopping for Christmas presents.

"Greg, come here," Shelly said, pulling me into the wood carvings department. "I found Stinky! You should buy him!"

I had been looking for a box or something similar to toss my spare change into each night. Stinky cost less than $10. He would make one heck of a cheesy souvenir.

Are you on my Christmas gift list? Don't worry. They only had one of them in the store, and I kept him for myself.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brad - you must be getting worried about what Greg will add to your intl carving collection this year. Don't worry it is not a monkey. :)

Greg said...

On the other hand, Brad, it might be worse!

Anonymous said...

Just so it doesn't come to our house. I never knew you wanted a monkey! Weren't gerbils that had a strange breakfast on Easter Sunday enough??

Anonymous said...

One: I always wanted a monkey, too. Too bad our parents didn't allow any pets that didn't leave in an aquarium. Two: I would love to get Smelly -- Stinky's twin brother -- as a gift. Three: Ross was a COOL dork.

Anonymous said...

Monkeys can rarely be "potty trained" they will bite, and are very hard on draperies, but they will eat all your old bananas, and one more item, they are all liberal democrats. But since many of Iowa Glass'clan decendants are among the "education species', I guess the monkey will fit it just fine.

Anonymous said...

Do I understand you had gerabils for breakfast on a particular Easter Sunday breakfast? were they fried, deep-fat fried, sautéed, pooched?? with all the Iowa Corn, why not core flakes?
and I read on an earlier post, "you all" were commenting on the Philippine food.

Anonymous said...

Do I understand you had gerabils for breakfast on a particular Easter Sunday breakfast? were they fried, deep-fat fried, sautéed, pooched?? with all the Iowa Corn, why not core flakes?
and I read on an earlier post, "you all" were commenting on the Philippine food.

Greg said...

Let me clear this up, before any rumors get started! WE did not have gerbils for breakfast on Easter Sunday so many years ago. I believe Mom is referring to the gerbils we had as pets, which decided to have their young for breakfast on Easter Sunday. Talk about a memory that stays with you...

Anonymous said...

Fortunately, I've been able to block out the Easter Gerbil Massacre, except for the occasional reference made by Mom or Greg. Of course, that means I can neither confirm nor deny Greg's story that WE did NOT eat the gerbils.

Anonymous said...

I'm happy to announce that I received a carved ant eater from the Philippine Glass' this year. It's roughly the same size as our cat. So far, the cat seems indifferent to his new pet.